Ruby and the Forget-its

I’ve totally written about a diverse-enough field of TV to justify a third ABC Family post, haven’t it? No, you say? TOO BAD.

This afternoon, I watched the first episode of a show called Ruby and the Rockits. Allow me to break down the premise: it’s a sitcom about a young, talented singer named Ruby who seeks out her birth father, an aging rock star named David Gallagher and played by David Cassidy. Gallagher/Cassidy used to be in an ‘80s hair band called “The Rockits” with his brother Patrick who is now a car salesman (played, inevitably, by Patrick Cassidy). Because David is so useless and vain, Ruby goes to live with Patrick and his family. Occasionally, Ruby and her tragically emo cousin discover a mutual interest in joining together to make uninspired pop music. The first episode is essentially built around The Brothers Cassidy/Gallagher bickering and making in-jokes, and Ruby sometimes interrupts to sing heartfelt ballads about finding oneself. There are also some cracks about youtube. It’s a tonal mashup of Two and a Half Men and High School Musical, with dashes of Reba, That’s So Raven, and Glee. It’s completely bizarre.

The Cassidys, then and now

Ruby and the Rockits is supposed to be a throwback show in several ways – it’s an old-form musical sitcom, full of laugh tracks and plotless musical interruptions, hearty family values and goofiness.  It’s also a vehicle for the Cassidy family in the same way that their incredibly popular musical sitcom The Partridge Family was in the 1970s. Not only do David and Patrick star as parodic versions of themselves, Ruby and the Rockits is produced by a third Cassidy brother, Shaun. The problem with the setup, of course, is that the entire ABC Family target audience (and also this writer) is way too young to have fond nostalgia for David Cassidy. I may have once seen some Partridge Family reruns. I guarantee that the majority of people who watch The Secret Life of the American Teenager have not.

Cheesy musical numbers: Ruby makes incestuous eyes at her cousin, The Cassidys dance it out

So rather than fond, amused memories of a time gone by, a golden time when families loved each other and made music together and looked wholesome, Ruby and the Rockits inspires bemusement and boredom. The Cassidys, who are supposed to create nostalgia, instead appear weirdly self-conscious. I can imagine some distant version of this show, where the uncomfortable musical in-jokes are a purposeful part of the humor, where the intended audience actually knew who the Cassidys are, and where Ruby is nowhere to be seen. Vaguely, I could see that show being darkly funny, with jokes about peaking too early and fandom and an obscene guest appearance by Shirley Jones. (She was recently partially nude on The Cleaner – it could happen!). That show would be uncomfortable and crude and maybe hysterical.

Ruby and the Rockits is just uncomfortable and predictable and strange.